Top 10 Dumbest News Stories of 2017

Although CNN heavily dominated the year with dumb news stories, there are several that took the cake and made you question whether true journalism exist anymore in any form…

1. USA Today releases video of the gun used in the Texas church shooting…..and includes the “possible modification” of a chainsaw bayonet.

Which prompted the immediate universal trolling of other “possible” and highly unfeasible attachments….

2. “Trump feeds a shit ton of fish, a shit ton of food” by CNN

Unless you live under a rock (or do research for CNN) you’d know that not only was this story stupid, but very purposefully misleading…as the Japanese president dumped his whole box of food in moments before Trump. It’s bad enough you’ve got to report on feeding fish as breaking news…but manipulating it to serve an agenda? Does anyone take CNN seriously anymore? Bueller?

3. “Naked under a robe” by CBSN

CBSN featured a press conference where a former beauty pageant contestant accused Trump of sexual misconduct because he went backstage and saw her “naked under a robe….”

….which immediately made #nakedunderarobe trend on Twitter….

4. “Dog’s ear kinda looks like Trump” by CNN

I wouldn’t expect to see something this dumb in the Enquirer but…..CNN just can’t help itself at this point. It was a step up from reporting about ketchup on Trump’s steak though….

5. “Should I marry my cousin?” by BBC

BBC made a 34 minute documentary that I make fun of here

….for what should be a resounding 1 second answer of “No.” Strangely, not even a visit to a house full of messed up inbred kids was enough to truly convince this girl 100%

6. “Let’s perpetuate racism by indoctrinating our children with it” by The New York Times

Putting “Opinion” in the headline doesn’t suddenly excuse away the blatant racism the article implies……and this is why The New York Times is complete divisive shite.

7. “Children’s guide to anal sex” by Teen Vogue

They fail to mention that it increases the chances you shit your pants for no reason but yea….let’s make it appealing to kids. Scumbags should be in jail….

8. “Trump gets two scoops of ice cream” by CNN

I’d imagine being the president of the United States of America comes with perks, but an extra scoop of ice cream?! Holy fucking shit!!! Quick! Someone pull stock photos of ice cream…see if we’ve got any intel as to the flavor….can someone research what Hitler liked for dessert? See if we make a comparison?

10. “Little white kids shouldn’t dress up as another culture nor as themselves (huh?)” by the Daily Mail

Contradictory? For sure. I’m actually surprised at the laziness of not even separating this circular hypocrisy into two separate articles….but this is the Daily Mail so I don’t expect too much.

Actually I don’t expect too much from anything I see or hear online anymore….

2 thoughts on “Top 10 Dumbest News Stories of 2017”

  1. Anal sex at #7 followed by two scoops at #8. I would put Bill Nye Vagina at #9. ANTIFA, NFL kneelers, and Feminen should be at the top. Now we know Baaaaaanon is the mole, Bannon started the whole thing in Charlottesville.

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