The Top 5 Dumbest Stories the Mainstream Media Ran About Trump…Because Journalism is Dead

1. “Trump uses railing” by The Washington Post…..reporting on CNN’s report? What kind of double handed fuckery is that?

I wish I could say that this was some dumb comment made in passing but CNN actually ran a whole story about it…which the Washington Post felt needed re-iterating. How about he doesn’t want to slip and fall on live TV down a shaky flight of stairs, and give CNN something something that might actually be newsworthy to write about…

2. “Trump eats dessert…” also by CNN

I’d imagine being the president of the United States of America comes with perks, but an extra scoop of ice cream?! Holy fucking shit!!! Quick! Someone pull stock photos of ice cream…see if we’ve got any intel as to the flavor….can someone research what Hitler liked for dessert? See if we make a comparison…

3. “Talking a lot makes men thirsty.” Oh look, it’s by CNN again….

Clearly a sign of the devil, I believe it’s in Revelations. Seriously though…..who the fuck is running CNN? I’ve seen more informative reporting done by kids in Freshman Comp…

4. “Trump’s use of condiments” by The Washington Post

Democracy dies in darkness? That’s your banner slogan and you’re reporting on fucking ketchup? Look, I like my steak medium rare like an ‘Merican but who gives a flying fuck? I’m more surprised it’s not an entire bottle of scotch with all the shit he’s got to deal with everyday…

5. “Trump feeds a shit ton of fish, a shit ton of food.” by CNN, because of course

Unless you live under a rock (or do research for CNN) you’d know that not only was this story stupid, but very purposefully misleading…as the Japanese president dumped the box of food in earlier moments before Trump. Which honestly, pisses me off even more. It’s bad enough you’ve got to report on the dumbest shit humanly possible because clearly Soros is paying per headline…but manufacturing a pointless story? And this isn’t the first time?

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