The New California Health Craze is Drinking Overpriced, Dirty Water….

The new fad for rich stupid hippies in Silicon Valley is drinking overpriced, “raw” water….”raw” being a euphemism for untreated water someone found somewhere that admittedly contains unknown bacteria and pathogens and only cost $61 for a 2.5 gallon jug.

What a deal! Something with zero ingredients and no processing that costs 6 times more than gas.

Oh, and don’t stock up, because it expires after a month and turns green.

I mean, I wouldn’t even swim in green water, but “yum” right?

One of the main proponents of raw water is Doug Evans (who also just failed at his $700 a pop juicer company once people realized that they literally could just squeeze his $8 juice bags by hand)…

…and he looks exactly like what you think he would….

….a pretentious douche. I can’t tell if he’s holding wheatgrass juice or expired raw water.

What about the founder of this Live Water scam himself? Well, he goes by Mukande Singh and believes that tap water contains birth control (I feel like it probably should when I read shit like this) and he actually doesn’t look exactly like you’d think he would at all…..

….and that’s because his real name is Christopher Sanborn. Remember kids, it’s only “cultural appropriation” if you’re having fun on Halloween….leftists trying to swindle people selling modern snake oil get a total pass by the liberal media apparently.

He actually looks like every female art teacher I’ve ever had….

Anyway, he believes untreated water has “healing properties” and is great for fasting. To be fair, shitting blood out your ass if you survive probably is a helluva cleanse and weight loss diet….

Remember all those seemingly unheard of diseases that always killed your ass playing Oregon Trail? Well, you’re basically playing water pathogen roulette every time you drink this literal shit water…..here’s a pleasant list…

Hey, you want to be an idiot and prove Darwin’s theory out that’s fine by me….but you know these are the same hippie dippies that don’t vaccinate their kids and it’s unfortunately going to end with a little kid dying horribly for no reason at all…

The FDA regulates everything under the sun so why is it allowing people to sell dirty water collected off of public land and lying to idiots about the holistic benefits with ZERO research/proof/backup and in fact everything in existence to the contrary?

Just saying….

1 thought on “The New California Health Craze is Drinking Overpriced, Dirty Water….”

  1. I’m looking to Crowd fund a water tank truck filled with Organic, AWSOME H2O, (“Water” is SOO yesterday ), water source would be Local New England Nor’Easter, collected by Virgins, from various…’Organic ‘ sources. Retail at $400/ gallon, because the ‘product’ came from the Gulf, and was gently frozen with Siberia Air!! It. Is SOO Global!! Prepayment, in cash, will allow you to ACTUALLY see the collection process, ( fuzzy video ). A portion will go to the VA,..Actually, most will go there.

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