Become a Social Justice Warrior (SJW) in 5 Easy Steps!

These tips are totally interchangeable whether you’re male, female, or currently gender identifying as a vegan cheese quesadilla (and you better be Hispanic too, otherwise that’s cultural appropriation you nazi) You’ll learn gender, much like facts and the true definition of words like bigot and racist mean nothing in this leftist world of virtue signaling and telling others how to live while demanding your own personal freedom.

Are you even remotely attractive at all? Yea, we’re gonna have to fix that. There’s a privilege that comes with being attractive in life that contradicts the inherent SJW victimhood mentality. Same goes for being thin, unless you’re male of course. The more feeble a male the less cis-gendered (normal) they are….and that’s a good thing! You don’t want to be one of those “normies” with their muscles, real jobs and pants that fit.

Luckily, there are several things you can do to make yourself both less attractive and signal to others that you are indeed here to fight imaginary fascism with actual fascist behavior.

1. First you’re going to need the shittiest hairstyle you can dream up. It’s got to be some sort of unnatural color and as a general rule you must be on psychedelics or hard drugs before attempting to cut your own bangs. If you pick red it has to be a bright Play-doh type magenta, otherwise it might come out looking actually attractive. Here are some great ideas for starters….

2. Glasses. Not like normal glasses, I mean like some kind of Buddy Holly rimmed plastic glasses that you can probably buy at the dollar store, but you’re going to spend $175 at Lacoste for…and it doesn’t matter if you need them or not, it’s pretty much part of the uniform. Bonus points for piercing your septum BTW, it’s a super great idea to wait right before allergy season.

3. Tattoos. Lots. It doesn’t matter what they are, or the quality of them….some ideas might be a shitty band no ones heard of, an arrow (oh wait that’s cultural appropriation again,) your astrological sign (that would be soooo Leo) or if you’re feeling super edgy…get a tattoo of your own uterus or scary vagina. It’ll let people know immediately that you’re impossible to date and that it would probably end in a TRO anyway…

4. Inappropriately tight fitting clothes. The tighter, the better…or nothing at all. It is after all your right to subject your grotesque nudity onto others while decrying men are sexist for looking at you. You should be muffin topping it out of your arms and legs, not just your vegan gut…and don’t worry it’s not “slutty.” Only those attractive conservative bitches with their size 3 Daisy Dukes are slutty!

Fucking Trump supporting skanks! Remember, even if you’re a feminist trashing another woman is ok if they’re a Republican, cause you’re fighting the system.

You’re better than them because you’re an “empowered” feminist!

5. Now this is the hardest part, but it’s the most important. You’ll need to develop that tell tale expression that encompasses both complete utter disdain for life and being perpetually offended at the same time. Try to mimic a grimacing koi fish that just took a shit in the pond way too close to his mouth…

Ah….Perfect. Well hopefully that’ll get you started! Don’t forget to make insufferable posts on FB about capitalism from your iPhone while sitting in Starbucks….being offended is a full time job you know!

19 thoughts on “Become a Social Justice Warrior (SJW) in 5 Easy Steps!”

  1. #5 all three are mouth breathers. I never noticed before but I may be onto something there. Are all SJW’s mouth breathers???

  2. A well written post, I simply passed this onto a workfellow who was doing somewhat analysis on this.

    And he indeed purchased me dinner mainly because I discovered it
    for him.

  3. I simply must tell you that you have written a great and also
    unique article that I actually enjoyed reading. I’m fascinated by
    how very well you presented your material and presented your views.
    Many thanks.

  4. I’m not that much of a internet reader to
    tell the truth however your site is very nice, keep writing!
    I’ll proceed and bookmark your site to come back later.
    Good luck.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *