Here’s the step by step explanative process behind every argument a liberal has ever had with a conservative, ever.
Step 1: Start shit. Take any topic, doesn’t matter…but make sure to turn it into something unrelated but biased to your political beliefs….
You chose banning pit bull adoption, and somehow turned it into an anti-gun, anti-law enforcement statement……and snails, I don’t know why the snails.
Step 2: Wait for it. Someone, usually a right wing friend that’s sick of seeing all your shit on their timeline feed will make a sensible criticism and call you out on it…
Step 3: Overreact.
Make sure to spout out that you’re citing “facts” even though you know you actually researched nothing before posting or getting mad. Proofread nothing, it’s more confusing that way. Finish it with something untrue and/or nonsensical.
Step 4: They’ll be a delay. This is the point where a conservative will start researching any stats or info you’ve posted, they seem to be good at those things. But that’s ok, you know for sure that police probably “unlawfully” kill tens of thousands of a year whether you checked it or not…
Step 5: Panic. There’s no way you were just spouting off how you knew all the facts but didn’t, ugh why did you think snails killed more people than dogs in a year? It’s ok, there’s a solution.
Step 6: Create a diversion. It’ll distract from the fact you were ever wrong about anything. Ad hominem attacks work best….
A good ol’ fashion slut shaming, doesn’t she know it’s only empowering to show off your body if you weigh more than 250lbs?
Are they ugly? Call them ugly. Are they attractive? Call them a whore or a meathead. Technically this goes against your self proclaimed “tolerant and loving” liberal ideas, especially if it’s a woman and you’re pretending to be a feminist, but when they’re a conservative it’s fair game and it doesn’t count. Don’t worry, none of your leftist friends will ever point out the hypocrisy either, and anyone with integrity unfriended you a year ago.
To spice it up, call them things you clearly don’t know the meaning to….
Snowflake, perfect! Doesn’t matter that it’s a term given to overly sensitive and emotional liberals like you’re being right now. Nazi, bigot, sexist, or some Hitler comparison are also good terms to misuse.
Also, maybe she didn’t notice you said this….
After you already said this….
Probably won’t notice and write a whole article on it at all…
Step 7: Get hysterical. Cross the line, they’ll either block you or say something you can use against them and prove how “mean” conservatives are…
That’s perfect, never mind that “washed up wrestler” is a UFC heavyweight champ or that someone’s a “crappy” actress who has 167 more credits than you and you’ve only done background. It doesn’t matter, you’re winning this argument with your feelings…
Ok, that doesn’t even make sense, but it doesn’t have to, you’re still winning…
Step 8: Deflect! Deflect! Deflect! There’s nothing you can say to this that won’t prove them right. You’ll have to make stuff up!
Oh good! It’s not true but it’s good. The chances you’d ever actually run into them again are low so you won’t ever need to have to back up that claim.
Doesn’t matter if you look like this in your publicly posted profile pics either….
and they look like this…..
You call that ugly Trump voting bitch out!
Step 9: Validation. It’s at this point you’ll need back up from a friend from within your echo chamber to prove you won this whole conversation in its entirety…
That was easy! Perfect! Doesn’t matter that this is her in a publicly posted FB pic…
It’s all the validation you need and you have successfully won your argument!
Step 10: Gloat. Make sure to denote that you’ve won by leaving whatever petty liberal catch phrase is trendy at the time…
Perfect. Now just repeat every time you disagree with someone and you’ll never lose…….in your head, in your head anyway.
Now you know eventually I was going to have to post this article onto the original post it was from, I kind of expected an immediate block since it’s impossible for that type of person to admit wrong…but it’s actually a lot more sadder and pettier than that….
1. Who gives a shit.
2. No, you can’t.
3. I was only being polite when I blacked out your last name before, I don’t legally have to do that for anything posted in a public forum.
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